Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Caring for another person isn't for wimps!

So I really thought, " I can totally care for a toddler while pregnant, all my usual household duties, work part time from home, continue with my jewelry business, get my house really to sell, and blog regularly."  Then reality hit me in the face.  I pretty much feel like I am doing none of it, or at least none of it very successfully.

I have hit my second trimester so that is great but nothing has gotten any easier.  The house is such a disaster and dirty too.  I know what you are thinking, "how dirty is it really, she is a stay at home mom?"  It is dirty I tell you.  The bathroom is regularly cleaned and the kitchen gets its turn but the dusting and vacuuming?   Yeah, I am working on once every two weeks for vacuuming and dusting maybe once a month.  Yes, I said it.

I do work pretty hard on my part time job as we kinda need those dollars.  But since I have been napping when my kiddo naps, I end up working at night.  This has meant no jewelry making and no blogging. 

I do have to say my child is doing well.  He is learning his letters and so many new words everyday.  We do artsy stuff and he is getting really good at doing dishes.  I have been making more healthy homemade meals so that is a plus too (I can't be all negative).

But at the end of the day this mom feels like nothing is getting done and certainly not anything for herself.  I know I am not alone.  We as moms or caregivers think we can do it all and do it perfectly. So not true my friends.  I am writing this right now as my kid watches Sesame Street and I ignore him (well just his constant requests for me to sit on the floor - yeah cuz my butt wants to do that all day).  I just felt like I needed this right now and I'm not even sure I am making sense.

But after a morning that involved waking up with a migraine hangover, a super grumpy kid that misses his daddy who was on spring break all last week, and a dog puking on the rug and kid stepping in it; I needed something for me.  Yes, the spa would have been better but previously mentioned money and kid are preventing that from happening anytime soon. 

So moms or caregivers out there with a dirty house, a book you have only gotten to read the first 3 pages of, and pile of mail higher than  your mattress you miss so dearly; you are not alone.  It is hard to do it all.  If no one else tell you that I will.  And you know what else it is okay not to be - perfect.  It is okay to let some things go.  Because all of that pressure will just wear you out and don't those we care for do that already?  Burn out is real whether you are a mom, dad, wife caring for your husband with dementia, or dad caring for your adult disabled child.  I say it isn't just raising a child that takes a village, it caring for one another that takes a village.  So if you have a loved one that you know is struggling with caregiving give them a break.  Everyone benefits.  Someday it could be you on the other end.

If you or someone you know needs assistance with caring for an older adult or someone with disabilities please check out the links below.  This is something very near and dear to my heart!

Alzheimer's Association
Linking Disclaimer:
The Alzheimer’s Association is not responsible for information or advice provided by others, including information on websites that link to Association sites and on third party sites to which the Association links. Please direct any questions to weblink@alz.org.

National Association of Area Agencies on Aging

Each state has different areas of funding and resources to help older adults, people with disabilities, and their caregivers find the best means of keeping people in a safe environment.  Please check out this site to see what your state offers.

As for moms well there are about a million blogs, Facebook groups, and many other places to get support!  But if you need a place to start let me know maybe we can get you connected!

Today, choose love.