Pregnancy did what to you?

Hair growth has made me want to start my own at home spa parties that include spot lights, high magnification mirrors, tweezers, waxes, and maybe even one of those No-No hair removal systems.  Ah a ladies night of facial hair removal.  Good times.

Not only do you get a baby at the end but you get some of these lovely parting gifts!  These are the true stories of ladies who have been there and done that, AND have the stretch marks to prove it!  I was going to put this into categories but I really think how they put it is much funnier!  Names have been removed to save you from accidentally saying something to one of them and then having serious pain inflicted upon you!  

"Ok, weird post-pregnancy stuff. I now have a ton of ear wax - like, so much that I can feel it running out of my ear. My food aversions have continued - I could not eat chicken or green beans at all during either pregnancy (both of which I ate ALL THE TIME pre-pregnancy), and I still struggle with them now. I never realized, and maybe it is because of all the swelling I had (I gained up to 7lbs a day in the last week before Conner was born!), that after my c-section, my belly would now lay over the top of itself - GROSS! I thought my breasts would even out as my left was slightly larger than the right; nope - the left just increased more than the right. Another boob one - I was not able to successfully breastfeed and my milk never came in, but my boobs definitely sag now! My sense of smell is still heightened. My vocabulary has decreased - all of those big college level words are gone. Even though I had two c-sections, sex was still way uncomfortable after I was allowed to "get back in the saddle" again - not like I ever want to anymore! Last one I can think of right now - my feet increased a size and a half."

Me,  "That list was wonderfully horrific! I have many of those issues too! But I have to say the earwax made me laugh so hard I peed a little - oh yeah another problem after pregnancy - Kegels - what mom can remember/wants to do that!?!

" I hate kegels b/c they make me feel that special kind of funny "down there" yet I can't sneeze, cough, or laugh without peeing."

 "Oh, and I now have the attention span of a toddler."

Me on the topic of Kegels, "Yep and it kinda makes me want to pee so I feel it is all in vain!"

"Here's another one! I still have flutters in my belly that feel like a baby moving - ghost kicks I guess I would call them - and they are NOT gas."

Me, "Did we mention your brain goes to crap!"

Me, "I had no idea that pregnancy would change my skin in so many ways and for good - Not just stretch marks - but my lower abdominal area now breaks out - my Dr. said, "yeah that is one of those things that can happen from pregnancy hormones."

"Mines not really funny, more really sucky. After pregnancy I now have rosacea and skin lesions :( Dermatologist has me on meds for the lesions."

Ah the pregnancy glow!

Me, "Uh, why do I now have the complexion of a 15 year old?  Zits in my 30's? Boo that!"

I think my expression says it all!

" For me it was facial hair! The hormones from my first pregnancy caused my facial hair to get dark and ever since I've been a bleaching and plucking fool!"

Me, "Then just when you think you have them all - one peeks out in public! If you are like me you run to the bathroom ASAP to pluck it and then can't find it to save your life!

"I had to have moles removed b/c they got so much bigger. They would grow each pregnancy from the hormones and never shrink. I don't even want to talk about my stretched-out skin on my stomach!"

"I had these little skin tags pop out, and I now have psoriasis on my scalp that I have to constantly deal with (gross, huh!) And of course I can no longer do jumping jacks, and if I sneeze or cough too hard...there goes the pee! I love that AFTER I was pregnant with my third, my midwife looked at me and said, "Yeah, the body really starts to fall apart with the third pregnancy." Gee, thanks!!!"

"I had to switch my deodorant to something more potent. I am STINKY post pregnancy, LOL!"

Me, "Oh yeah I forgot about the super sweating!"

"I was preg the hottest summer on record (had my daughter late July) and my feet (already wide) were so swollen that I got ingrowns nails on almost ALL of my toes and had to go to the podiatrist for a procedure to have them cut out! Remind you I religiously had biweekly pedi's and now my feet haven't had a good polish in 6 mo!"

"I used to have to sleep with socks on my feet more so in the winter. My husband couldn't stand it. Now my feet are hot all the time so I sleep with my feet out. My husband hates it because if he touches them they are so cold."

Me, "It changed my changed my body chemistry so much that I was getting monthly infections - yeah cuz that is what you need when you have a new baby!"

We didn't even go into all the beautiful hair you just gain starts falling out like crazy and my bathroom looks like it has hair tumbleweeds!  Those gorgeous nails you had, yep say well to peeling splitting nails!

So there you have it.  All that and a beautiful baby that loves you beyond measure.  At the end of the day it is all worth it, at least to all of these brave moms who shared and me.  If I grow an entire beard, pee myself everyday, and never loose this weight; I would never trade any of it for my boys.  

So look at that my boys already taught me something about letting go!

If you have a post pregnancy change you want to share please comment below or if you are not brave message me and I will share it without your name!

If you think I have forgotten about the Wellness Health Challenge I have not!  I am sorry I have gotten a little behind.  But I am letting go of that too!  Week one went well for me.  A 30 minute walk with my family and a 45 minute Aqua Zumba class!  It rocked.  If you get the chance, check it out.  Zumba No one can see what you are doing and it is so much fun!
 Lets move onto week two!  In addition to two days a week 30 minutes of exercise add in 2 serving of vegetables per day.  I know that also seems easy but for some that is huge.  Keep track and keep on the right path.  We can do this!

Today choose love!
Kristin 

If you laughed and peed a little please like, share, follow the blog, like my Facebook page, follow me on Pinterest, and join in the fun and nuttiness!

Apps to motivate your buns off!

     As we are going into Memorial Day weekend I wanted to give everyone some positive reinforcement!
Here are some Apps and songs I like to keep me motivated to be healthy! Even better for this penny pincher, they are all free!!!! I am using all of these and I love them.  I hope they are helpful to you as well.  If you have a health or music related App you love please share with the class!

Health Apps

Running through sprinkler totally counts as exercise!

My Fitness Pal - You can enter all of the food and water you consume in a day, as well as exercise.  You put in your information and it tells you calorie wise how much to eat based on your info and goals.  Very easy to use as it has a database of foods that is extremely extensive!
My Fitness Pal app

Nexercise - This is one you log all of your physical activities - including playing with your kids or house cleaning!  Easy to use and you get points that go toward Mpoints.  If you have not used Mpoints you are missing out!  There are tons of apps that you can get points for using that you can redeem for gift cards, stuff, or to give to charity!  I love it so much I am practically addicted! I guess I better share a link to that too!
Nexercise app                   Mpoints

Everymove
I like this reward related app better than some of the others I have tried.  It is a little limited on the rewards at this point but motivating none the less.  I am using it to donate to The Make-A-Wish Foundation!
Everymove app

itriage 
This one is a great way to keep track of your health information!  I have to admit I have not spent too much time entering my info into this but it could come in really handy if you were in an accident or something and someone needed to get your info.  My hubs could really use it since he would never remember all my health info!  Remember that Spencer, if I am unable to give my info get on this app!
iTriage app

Music Apps

Just a little shot from my seat last year at a
Dave Matthews Band concert!!!!!!!

Songza
I love this app for a go to playlist for any occasion.  It has been a great way to play children's music since we don't have a lot that we own.  It has many different ways to find just the music you need to get through any mood or activity!  I really wish I could be using the playlist for Lying on a Beach right now (I could but since I am not lying on a beach it would depress me), then I could be listing to artist like Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, and Donavon Frenkenreiter!
Songza

Spotify
This is my hubs go to app for music!  You can rock your face off to your favorite artist  or I can listen to a playlist based on my husband's profile! That might earn me bonus points (I think I have plenty of points racked up) but I think I would probably just go ahead and listen to Dave Matthews Band instead!!!!
Spotify

Freegal music
Who doesn't wanna download and keep music!  You have to have a library card but then you can download 3 free songs from their catalog each week!
Freegal Music


Playlist - these are a few I think to keep my motor running right now!

Roar - Katy Perry
Born This Way - Lady Gaga
Video -India.Arie
Stand Up - Dave Matthews Band
Hey Mama - Black Eyed Peas

Have a great weekend and if you haven't already joined me on Facebook for more good stuff and crazy posts do it!  You won't regret it like I regret telling my son I would make him an Octopod from the Octonauts cake!.  That oughta turn out special!

Pin with me on Pinterest too!

Today choose love!!!
Kristin

Let It Go...no this is not a post about the movie Frozen...but that movie is awesome!

     Well hello all!  I know it has been forever but I am letting go of that too.  I am tired; tired of anxiety over things I do not have to be worried about.  I am on a mission to save myself from myself!  So let’s get started and maybe I can help you too!

     So yesterday was Mother's Day, my 4th one.  As I was getting ready to go spend time with my family, I studied myself in the mirror.  This is usually an unhappy event that includes beating myself up over every flaw I see or think I see.  I know I am not alone here.  Getting as close as I can to the mirror to try to see how I can cover that up or what else I need to find a way to fix.  I was getting more and more upset as I noticed the acne that is coming back on my face, that big bump in my nose, and all the lumpy bumpy overweight parts.  I honestly felt like I couldn't find a good spot anywhere.  So I went about the task of putting on all kinds of products and makeup to try to look better.  Then the even harder task of finding some clothes that might conceal the post baby (7 month old baby) body I loathed.

My and my post baby body and 7
month old on Mother's Day 2014.

     As I was mentally tearing myself a new one, I thought about each of my boys.  4 years ago I was pregnant with my first son Coen.  Of course at that time I did not know he was a he.  We wanted to be surprised again.  See just about 9 months before we told we were not going to be able to have children naturally.

     I remember it like it was yesterday.  I lay on that cold metal table as they shot me full of some dye to see if my one and only fallopian tube was 100% blocked.  That's right I had also found out shortly before that my body only contained one fallopian tube and one ovary.  The Radiologist turned and looked at me as my lady parts were exposed and I was in terrible pain from the procedure and said, "Well I guess you will have to talk with your Dr. about IVF," and left the room.  I held it together as long as I could and when I saw my husband, who was not allowed to go back with me, I lost it.  This body had let me down again and this time it let my husband down too.  (To read more about this see my blog post Babies, Babies everywhere!)

     I spent a good deal of time being so angry with my body.   See I have always regarded my body and my mind or soul as separate.  It is me against it.  So I did what many people do, I ate my anger and my sorrow until I got up to 185lbs.  But somewhere along that line I got back up on my feet and decided to stop fighting this body and try to work with it and IVF.  2 weeks before we were to go in for our first consultation God showed me this body has no mistakes.  I was pregnant.  But even more important than the miracle God had made with us was the gift of renewed faith.  A reminder that above all of this, God loves us and really does have a plan for us.

Me three weeks before my second son was born.

     This was His plan to show me this body doesn’t have mistakes because He doesn’t make mistakes.  This, flawed in my eyes body, against all odds made and carried two perfect boys.  How can I be mad at that?  And how can I say and truly believe in my mind, that they are perfect and still think that God, the same Amazing God who created them, could create a horribly flawed body?  I mean, I have never regarded those with disabilities or scars as ugly or a mistake. From all of the people and families I have met working with people with disabilities (or as I really prefer to say, people with different abilities) I know at some point the majority realize they are not a mistake and that they are each beautiful and perfect in just the way they were specially made. 

     So how did I let all this mean and evil talk creep back in?  Lots of things I’m sure but I am not going to waste time right now analyzing all of them, but we will get there because it is important to know what drives us to that place in order to know how to U-turn from it. 

     I had always thought if I had a daughter I was going to have to be positive for her so she would never feel the way I did.  When I had boys, I figured well whatever they won’t pay any attention to what I say and do about my body.  Boys don’t care.  What a crock!  If they are going to be self-confident and treat others as though all of our “packages” (no, I am not taking about what you’ve got in your pants) are beautiful and deserve respect, then it needs to start from home.

I want to be that carefree with my body again!

     Right now these boys believe they are beautiful and perfect because they hear it from the people who loved them every day.  And you know what I am going to keep telling them.  I know there are those people who will say telling them that will label them and make things difficult psychologically.  Oh phooey I say!  The world will spend the rest of their lives and mine telling them they are anything but perfect. 

    And I am guessing no God who is all powerful, all knowing, and all loving would be pleased if you hated on the gifts you were given. “Kristin, so your time is up.  Let’s look at how you treated these precious gifts I gave you.  You physically and emotionally abused your body?  The body I made for you?”  I am guess that won’t go over very well.

   Well that’s it then.  I am going to just think I am beautiful and perfect all the time and fairies and unicorns are going to prance from each of my former flaws!  Yeah, no.  No, one can turn it off just like that.  But I want to prove to myself and others that I can work on turning my thoughts and feeling toward my body around.  This is the beginning of this journey.  I want to look at the things I have struggled with and why.  Am I going to give up makeup and my hiding clothes?  No.  If something makes me feel good about me and won’t be hurtful I am going to embrace it.  I want to be healthy and happy with me inside and out. 

Me with makeup and "good" lighting.  I actually said to myself,
 "Self you look good today!"  Let's get more of that, less of, "You fatty put those

So here we go.  I encourage you to share your story.  To be honest with yourself.   I accept and welcome comments.  I know that not everyone will have kind things to say but I ask that no one make rude comments to others. 

     

And if anyone was looking for recipes, humor, stuff about kids, Pinterest posts, and the stuff I blogged about before don’t worry there will still be plenty of that too.  So if you like what you are reading please follow, share, and like my blog!

Today choose love,

Kristin  

No makeup fresh out of the shower!
 This is gonna be a challenge!

Second time around

So it has been over 4 months since I posted last!  Holy cats!  I am just gonna say it – this 2^nd pregnancy is kicking my butt.  A little bit literally.  My left butt cheek has been killing me for about a month now and I do not know why but it blows the big one.  I was so naïve.  I had such an easy, I would even say, beautiful first pregnancy that I thought this will be a little harder but only because I am chasing a toddler.  Boy am I dumb!  For those of you thinking about jumping into number two (bed), you may not want to read this or you might! 

Let me say I was in slightly better shape this time around.  I was weighing 15lbs less than when I started my last pregnancy.  I thought that would help.  I am sure in some way it is healthier but a human being growing inside you is gonna weigh you down regardless.  I also sit a lot less than I did working through my first pregnancy but chasing a toddler sucks every bit of energy I have.  Oh and did I mention he no longer naps.  Mommy needs naps but not happening in this house.

I ate like a champ first time around.  By that I mean I ate every 2-3 hours.  I felt great too.  This time I am so busy worrying about everyone else that I think I eat about every 4-5 hours and when I feel dizzy I sneak something in quick.  Even right now as I am sitting here with nothing else to do, I am hungry.  But I am too tired, sore, and lazy to get up and find something to eat!

Okay it is time to talk about those beautiful changes in your body during pregnancy.  I toned up a bit after my first pregnancy.  Breastfeeding was an amazing way to lose weight and my son’s desire for me to walk with him and bounce him made him a great personal trainer.  However, when I started to have issues with my second cyst on my ovary I got lazy and depressed, so guess what happened.  Some pounds came back!  Oh well I thought.  But as the pregnancy weight began to start showing up I saw how the second pregnancy looks different.  Oh I have the belly but I also have the flabby flap at the bottom of the belly.  It is not cute or anything that should be photographed.  It is there along with the stretch marks, all of which I have earned.

 

I have to brag that the first time around, I was always able to reach my feet, shave my legs, pretty much do anything for myself.  This time I can reach my feet but it is rough.  I am still shaving my legs but it is so hard and I am thinking about getting in touch with a pharmaceutical company about a pill for the pregnant ladies that stops hair growth.  Think how awesome that would be!  No eyebrow plucking, no shaving the legs, and no magnifying glass mirror searching out all of those new chin hairs that seem to come with pregnancy!  I have really found this time that any sort of bending over to do anything requires a bit of pumping yourself up for and a whole lotta shortness of breath after.

Okay I am only going to share one last sad thing about this second experience but it is a really bad one.  I pee myself.  And we are not just talking about a little tinkle when I sneeze.  I wish.  I do those stupid Kegels and they have let me and my clothing down.  Laugh – pee, sneeze - pee, cough – pee, fart – oh man major pee.  Okay you might think well that is kinda normal right.  Well here it is – the big one I never saw coming.  I lose complete bladder control in the shower!  I am just going about my business and all of the sudden the water gets warmer down my leg and the shame is running through my head.  I can handle a lot of things but peeing in the shower is ridiculous!  I am literally so pissed about this new change!  But what can you do?

But I do have to say there have even been a few things that have been better this time.  I am not spending all of my free time reading about what this baby is growing, getting, or doing today.  Things are a happening in there – good.  I am doing things out here and we will see you shortly.  This has been good for my stress level.  I have been able to wear my engagement ring the entire time so far (my wedding band is ½ a size smaller because I was a fool and now I am lazy) and last time I was only able to wear it 4 months of the pregnancy!  The giant pregnancy underpants (they are so huge we need to call them pants for sure) are too big but they are more comfortable than my regulars so they still win.  But most importantly, getting to watch my son talk to my belly and kiss it are priceless.  He talks about the baby daily.  I know it will be a huge change for all of us but for now he is excited about “his baby” and so are we.  Less than 5 weeks to go!

 

Allied Forces - Guest Blogger!

I am so excited to introduce my first guest blogger!  She is a great friend and a wonderful support mom (another mom who listens without judgment!).  Please welcome Jessica to the Table! 

 

Allied Forces (Mommy, Daddy & Naptime) vs. Lyla

(Consistent & follow through parenting)

                Hello!  My name is Jessica and I attended high school with Kristin (we actually taught a dance class together to small children back then) and I love reading her blog. She asked me if I’d like to write something sometime.  After our WWIII battle today at my house, I thought this would be a good topic J.   First of all- I am the mother of a very strong-spirited 2 year old daughter- Lyla and a sweet 6 mos old daughter-Avyn.  My husband is an elementary school teacher and I am a licensed school counselor and a licensed mental health therapist. I was an elementary school counselor in the public schools for 6 years and worked in a behavioral health hospital for 9 years.  I resigned from both after Lyla was born and pursued a private practice.   I am currently managing a part time private practice along with all my mothering duties.

                A few months back I was contacted by the local newspaper to give an ‘expert’ opinion for an article.  I almost told the lady she should probably call someone else as I am no ‘expert’! As she was asking me if I’d like to contribute I stopped myself from saying my initial response of “I’m not an expert,” and thought wait- am I an expert? I’ve never thought of myself as an expert and no one has ever referred to me as one until now… but what to do with this newspaper article?  I decided against my urge to tell her I’m not knowledgeable enough and give it a go.  I have since contributed to three other articles for magazines, papers, etc.  I’m sharing this because in my head I’m really no expert- as this infers “perfect” and I am a life-long learner and feel there is always more to know. However, after having a discussion with my best friend about this “expert” business I came to the realization that after 10 years of working in mental health primarily with children and parents I guess maybe I am sort of an “expert”.   This is a story however to show that even a child behavior/development/effect parenting counselor “expert” isn’t a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination- because perfect parenting doesn’t exist!!  

                We have been struggling with nap time at my house over the past month or so.  It started when my 2 year old’s molars began to appear and went downhill from there.  I am exclusively breastfeeding my 6 month old and my 2 year old nurses three times a day (morning, nap and bed time) when I am home. Yes call me crazy… and NO my kid will not be nursing at kindergarten- RELAX!  The international recommendation to nurse is at least 2 years; the average age world wide of weaning is age 3.   I could say the toddler has created this habit (well I actually created it- most child habits are parent created) that she would nurse for nap time, fall asleep in my arms and as soon as I’d go to lay her in her crib she would wake up, flail like a fish out of water, scream and well that’s all folks! Good bye nap time…    I realized today that on Tuesday and Thursdays when I leave for work at 2pm I wouldn’t let her cry very long as I didn’t want her to be in a fit of emotional rage when my 78 year old great aunt (who taught preschool most of her life & is VERY sprite for her age) to deal with my daughter screaming in her crib. So I’d let her cry a few minutes and then go get her.  This really backfired in my face over the last few weeks as she wouldn’t lay down for me.  Now on Saturday I worked all day and MAGICALLY she went down for Daddy with no fight, no crying and of course no nursing? Well that’s just dandy-makes me feel wonderful. 

So here we are Sunday afternoon- she woke up early before 7am (oh ya and while she isn’t napping well she is also getting up early too?) and she’s TIRED at 11am.  She usually naps at 12:30 or 1:00.  Perfect- since we have a birthday party to attend this afternoon let’s take an early nap.  She’s all for it- says she wants to go nurse and take a nap- I’m doing cartwheels.   We do our thing- nurse in the chair for about 10 min (we play one of those music things when it goes off time for bed).  She’s dead asleep in my arms- I’m thinking- YEAH I can take a shower and get ready and we can leave when nap time ends (my 6mos old is asleep already).  I go to put her down- FLAILING FISH!!  I try to put her blanket over her blow her a kiss and walk out.  I go to daddy and say- see this is what happens.  So Daddy goes up there- talks to Lyla & suggests a book. She buys it- then decides she wants Mommy to read her the book not Daddy. He says “okay but after the book you have to go to sleep” and she agrees.  At this point I may interject- making deals with a toddler is FRUITLESS- never a good idea to bargain with any child especially a toddler. But we ALL do it from time to time- even an “expert”. 

                So I go back in, we sit in the chair and pick out a book- Lyla wants to nurse again while I read her the book (she’s a nursing addict- she calls my “nursies” the ‘big one’ and the ‘little one’ as we all know one breast is typically slightly larger than the other and often chooses which one she wants to nurse from at that moment- weaning her is obviously going to be WWIV).  So we read the book- and again I remind her that when the book is done its nap time.  I mention we have fun things to do this afternoon and she has to take a nap.  Book ends- kisses, hugs, sweet dreams. She lays down- I walk out- 30 seconds later she’s standing in her crib (we have a video monitor) SCREAMING!  L   Daddy went to take a nap, baby Avyn is napping- screw it I’m taking a shower.  So I take the monitor with me in the bathroom while I shower listening to Lyla yell: “Mommy I want you right now, I need you right now, I want out of here, I am not tired, I don’t want to take a nap” etc.  This was extremely difficult, as the comforter in me wanted to jump out of the shower, wet and soapy and just go get her- but I knew that wasn’t what was needed at this point.  For the record I am NOT a supporter of the cry it out method in babies.  I use attachment theory in a lot of my practice and crying it out is not good for bonding/attachment.  However at age 2 years and 3 months it’s very different.   My “expert” suggestion is don’t let your baby under 12 months cry longer than 10 minutes.  At 2 yrs 3 months I had to undo the bad habit I created which meant letting her cry and I knew it L.

                When I get out of the shower the yelling has slowed down a bit- still going in waves- like the ocean.  Quiet whining, building up to “I want outta here” to then screaming “I need you Momma” then silence and we start all over.   I decide she needs to lay down so I’m going to dry my hair which is a huge treat for me since I don’t ever have time to dry my hair- heck I don’t usually take a shower alone as Lyla is often with me.  While I’m drying my hair the crying/yelling really slows down and even stops a few times.  I look at the monitor and this child is of course still standing in her crib holding her blanket and stuffed animal leaning against the crib rail falling asleep!  Her head nods forward her knees to start to buckle and she slides sideways- then she shakes- wakes up and starts yelling again!  This goes on for probably 10-15 min.  Seriously this child is so stubborn she’s going to fall asleep standing up in her crib- Lord help me.  Finally 50 min after the last time I walked out, 1 hr and 50 min after we started nap time Miss Spirited Lyla finally gives in, lies down in her crib, covers herself up with her blankie and goes to SLEEP!   Unfortunately she slept less than an hour but at this point that was but a small loss in a much larger victory! When she awoke I told her “Thank you so much for taking a nap- don’t you feel better?”  “Mommy needs to do a better job of making sure you take a nap every day and rest in your crib- sorry you were sad about taking a nap but it’s what’s best for you.”

                So what to learn here: 1. Parents create bad habits in kids- not kids.  Accept it and admit it- we all do it!  2. I really wanted to go get her when she was screaming that she needed me, but I knew we had to figure out this nap time battle and this is one I had to win.  3. I wasn’t following through with what I said over the last few weeks and I needed to mean what I say, and say what I mean.  4. Always empathize with your kids- EX:  “I’m sorry you’re mad but you can’t have a 2^nd cookie”.  You are validating their feelings; which makes them feel understood by you. You are giving them a word for their feelings which will help them communicate it later in life. But, don’t give in.  Effective parenting is labeling and validating feelings but not giving in when you’ve set a boundary or said no.

                The Allied Forces won this battle- but rest assured it won’t be the last, and with Lyla’s strong-willed spirit she will win a few!  All parents make mistakes; all parents create bad habits in their kids and then get frustrated with their child about it- even “expert” parents!  The key is to realize your part in it, fix it and stand your ground even when it hurts your heart. Parenting is hard- but admitting your mistakes to yourself and to your children is what fixes all those darn parenting mistakes we make!  Make your goal to be a loving effective parent J not a perfect one!

 Jessica A. Zimmerman LMHC 260.452.5336

                Thank you Jessica for a wonderful post!  I gotta say it does feel good to know even an “expert” is at a loss at times.  If any other followers of Nuts of the Round Table would like to be a guest blogger please contact me.  We can all learn from each other; whether it be about new recipes, parenting, caregiving, green living, or just plan living; and it just feels good to be heard or find someone you relate with!

Today, choose love!

Kristin

Caring for another person isn't for wimps!

So I really thought, " I can totally care for a toddler while pregnant, all my usual household duties, work part time from home, continue with my jewelry business, get my house really to sell, and blog regularly."  Then reality hit me in the face.  I pretty much feel like I am doing none of it, or at least none of it very successfully.

I have hit my second trimester so that is great but nothing has gotten any easier.  The house is such a disaster and dirty too.  I know what you are thinking, "how dirty is it really, she is a stay at home mom?"  It is dirty I tell you.  The bathroom is regularly cleaned and the kitchen gets its turn but the dusting and vacuuming?   Yeah, I am working on once every two weeks for vacuuming and dusting maybe once a month.  Yes, I said it.

I do work pretty hard on my part time job as we kinda need those dollars.  But since I have been napping when my kiddo naps, I end up working at night.  This has meant no jewelry making and no blogging. 

I do have to say my child is doing well.  He is learning his letters and so many new words everyday.  We do artsy stuff and he is getting really good at doing dishes.  I have been making more healthy homemade meals so that is a plus too (I can't be all negative).

But at the end of the day this mom feels like nothing is getting done and certainly not anything for herself.  I know I am not alone.  We as moms or caregivers think we can do it all and do it perfectly. So not true my friends.  I am writing this right now as my kid watches Sesame Street and I ignore him (well just his constant requests for me to sit on the floor - yeah cuz my butt wants to do that all day).  I just felt like I needed this right now and I'm not even sure I am making sense.

But after a morning that involved waking up with a migraine hangover, a super grumpy kid that misses his daddy who was on spring break all last week, and a dog puking on the rug and kid stepping in it; I needed something for me.  Yes, the spa would have been better but previously mentioned money and kid are preventing that from happening anytime soon. 

So moms or caregivers out there with a dirty house, a book you have only gotten to read the first 3 pages of, and pile of mail higher than  your mattress you miss so dearly; you are not alone.  It is hard to do it all.  If no one else tell you that I will.  And you know what else it is okay not to be - perfect.  It is okay to let some things go.  Because all of that pressure will just wear you out and don't those we care for do that already?  Burn out is real whether you are a mom, dad, wife caring for your husband with dementia, or dad caring for your adult disabled child.  I say it isn't just raising a child that takes a village, it caring for one another that takes a village.  So if you have a loved one that you know is struggling with caregiving give them a break.  Everyone benefits.  Someday it could be you on the other end.

If you or someone you know needs assistance with caring for an older adult or someone with disabilities please check out the links below.  This is something very near and dear to my heart!

Alzheimer's Association
Linking Disclaimer:
The Alzheimer’s Association is not responsible for information or advice provided by others, including information on websites that link to Association sites and on third party sites to which the Association links. Please direct any questions to weblink@alz.org.

National Association of Area Agencies on Aging
Each state has different areas of funding and resources to help older adults, people with disabilities, and their caregivers find the best means of keeping people in a safe environment.  Please check out this site to see what your state offers.

As for moms well there are about a million blogs, Facebook groups, and many other places to get support!  But if you need a place to start let me know maybe we can get you connected!


Today, choose love.
Kristin

Pinterest success and failures take 2

Well I have complied a list of my recent Pinterest adventures and what kind of results I had. Check them out below. I would love to get some input on Pinterest Pins you would like to see me attempt. So if you are already a member of my group "See Kristin Attempt This" please start pinning things you would like for me to try. If you are not and would like to let me know!

A little something for the kids: Small Town Driving Mats

Source: between3sisters.com via Kristin on Pinterest

I printed these two pages out and whipped out my laminator (man I love using that thing!) The kid loved having something new to drive his "Little People" car and "Hot Wheels" cars on. I have decided though, I think I need two more and some Velcro to attach them and then it will be magnificent!

 

S'mores Dip - yep you read that right!

 

Source: whatmegansmaking.com via Kristin on Pinterest

  

This recipe is perfect!  My hubs and I ate half of the bowl of it in one sitting - probably not so good.





Homemade creamer!

Source: mrshappyhomemaker.com via Kristin on Pinterest

This recipe is great.  But let me give you two tips.  You don't have to add the vanilla.  If you use syrups with your coffee for different flavors you won't want it and then it will be more versatile.  Second, save a decent plastic creamer container from the store and make it and store it in that.  We did the jar and it was difficult to pour without making a mess.  Plus then you reuse!  Definitely a keeper and cheaper than store bought!






















Personalized Baked Oatmeal Cups - eh.

Source: sugarfreemom.com via Kristin on Pinterest

Well these had such promise but tasted pretty blah.  I even ramped up the sugar content but they were just so dense and flavorless to us.  In order to eat the 2 dozen that I made we topped them with Ready Whip and that helped.  I made them in butterscotch chip, chocolate chip, raisin, and blueberry.  Butterscotch was the best by far.  I don't think we will make these again, the 1 1/2 year old would not touch them and that was sort of the point - easy go to breakfasts.


Homemade deodorizers - not so easy.

Source: onegoodthingbyjillee.com via Kristin on Pinterest

So I made this up in no time and let them dry for the 24 hrs.  I did not have a silicone pan so I used a mini muffin pan as suggest.  Yeah, those suckers were not coming out whole.  When I tried to "pop" them out with a knife, they just started to crumble.  I was a tad upset as I am cheap and ended up throwing it all away - oh the wasted time, money, and resources!  I might give it another try if I get my hands on the right sort of pan.  I really wanted them for my son's cloth diaper pail that smell worse than death. 

DIY Dishwasher detergent - Maybe there is hope?

Source: kingdomfirstmom.com via Kristin on Pinterest

This worked...sort of.  Most of the dishes were clean but a few still had some gunk.  However, the inside of the dishwasher has never looked cleaner.  May have to give it another try with a shot of vinegar in the rinse spout.


Dr. Bonner's Sal Suds in the Dishwasher - Not so hot in ours!

Source: passionatehomemaking.com via Kristin on Pinterest

This was very watery as you can imagine a solution of Sal Suds, water,  lemon juice, tea tree oil, and
white vinegar would be.  Most of the dishes were clean but not as clean as a commercial detergent would clean them.  I am starting to wonder if my dishwasher is more the problem.  But none the less this one did not work for me.

Okay so there is another round of Pinterest success and failures.  If you want to see another round give this post a like and follow/Pin to my board on Pinterest.
See Kristin Attempt This - Pin items for Kristin to try out and blog about!

Today, choose Love.
Kristin

Babies, Babies Everywhere!

Babies, babies everywhere!  It seems like everyone I know is having a baby, including me!  This is a little tip sheet I wrote for my sister in law before her son was born.  Reading through it reminded me of the things that are important with a new baby.  So here they are.  I hope you enjoy and please share your tips as well!

Tips for new Mommies

·         Be ready to "waste”.

o    You will waste diapers – before you can even get them on that little one will pee all over it.  Chuck it and move on. 

o   There will be jars of baby food that they may have eaten only 3 bites out of.  Chuck it after the 3 days and don’t think twice about it.

o    You need to “waste” time.  This is for your sanity.  Surf the Internet, read a magazine (a non-parenting magazine), and nap like it is your job.  Taking time for you, however you choose, is really not wasting time.  You will feel like it is, but it is caring for yourself.   This means it is caring for that sweet baby .

·         Take a bag of needed items with you everywhere you go – in the home. I kid you not, I carry a bag with me everywhere in the house full of things I need .  You will never have enough hands or arms when you need them.  A bag makes it easy to throw something in and take it to another room.

·         Take a camera everywhere. I put it in the bag!  This way I have a camera with me wherever we are because there will be moments you will want a picture of and no time to run for the camera.

·         Take water or some healthy beverage  everywhere – again put it in the bag.  You will not think to drink enough but you have to.

·         Eat – snack often.  You may think this is no problem but trust me you want to be prepared.  Buy healthy snacks you can grab and eat with one hand.  Have healthy frozen meals on hand.  There are going to be many nights you will not want to cook.

·         Be in touch with those who support you – you will find out fast who supports you 100% and who is going to judge you anytime they can. 

·         Go outside daily! You need fresh air and daylight on your face.  Too much time inside will suck the life out of you.

·         I have started ordering a lot of things online because shopping is soooo difficult with a baby. There are a lot of great sites out there. Amazon Mom gives you free shipping and great deals, especially when you have items shipped on a regular basis. That is my only commercial I promise.

·         Take care of the outside of you too.  You will wash your hands more times than you can count.  Long periods of standing and rocking will make your feet hurt.  You will kiss that baby so many times your lips will get chapped.  So take time for exercise and mini pampering, because as they say, “You are worth it!”

·         A word about breastfeeding and lactation.  It is a roller coaster.  Sometimes it feels like it will never end and sometimes it seems like you can’t get them to start.  There may be accidents and some pain, but the feeling of knowing you alone are the source of nourishment for your child is worth it all.  So you must have great nursing pads to prevent the leaks,  cream to help with the pain, and patience for the rest. 

·         Parenthood will test a marriage like you never thought possible.  It may not seem like it is possible but you will battle.  So learn to fight fair.  Communicate, communicate, communicate.  Never take each other for granted.  This little person came from you two loving each other, so remember to do little things for each other and date nights are mandatory!

·         In whatever way you can record the milestones and the mundane.  I could never seem to get that baby book started but I have posts on Facebook , and a box full of scratch paper with things jotted down.  Fill in the book later – live the moments now.

·         Above all else - Listen to you – no one, let me repeat – NO ONE knows your baby like you do.  Not friends, Dr.’s random people at the store,  your mom, your mother-in-law,  not even your husband.  If it feels right to you, it is.  Spending time second guessing yourself is time wasted.

·         Everyone will tell you and it bears repeating – soak in every second, every smile, every tear, everything you can because it truly goes faster than you can imagine and it is the most amazing journey you will ever have.

So if this is your first - good luck on your new journey!

If this is your second or more - make time of each of your children, your spouse, and yourself.

Today, choose love!

Kristin

Where did I go?

Yes, I have been a little MIA in life here lately.  But I have a really good reason.  At this point this little reason is about the size of a blueberry and is due in October.  Yes, that's right, our round table will be adding another nut! 
Pregnancy number two is so different.  I have been tired out of my mind and getting sicker by the day.  The bare minimum is pretty much the status quo for my daily life.  My kiddo may be watching a little bit more TV and I may be taking naps in my bed with him just so he will nap longer for me. The first time around I wanted fresh fruit all the time, this time I want beef, beef, and more beef.  Which is so crazy since I usually only eat about 4 servings of meat a week. 
I would like to share, for those who don't know, where my family's journey began.
I went in for an exam in April 2010 and a cyst that was around 7cm was found on my left ovary. The Dr. wanted to wait and see what it was like in May and when I returned it was over 9cm. I had surgery to have it removed and my new Dr. (the other got fired at that point for several reasons – but mostly her inability to act like she gave a crap about me) found that I did not have a right ovary or fallopian tube and that my left fallopian tube seemed blocked. I went thru a horrible procedure to find that yes indeed my left and only fallopian tube was 100% blocked. As I was laying on the table the Radiologist who did the test told me that I would not be able to have children naturally and then turned and left the room. Spencer and I were crushed but we picked up the pieces of this unimaginable situation and decided to go forward to In Vitro Fertilization. We completed the preliminary tests and all of the paperwork.
We waited for the first visit but two weeks before I began to feel very different. I took a pregnancy test thinking I was ruling it out, only to find (twice) that it was positive. We were excited and terrified at the same time. There was a good risk that it was ectopic or another cyst. Tests and the ultrasound gave us the confirmation that God can create miracles when we cannot create our own. Our beautiful son Coen was born in June 2011. He is the only proof I need of God’s love and that in Him all things are possible.

In April 2012 I began to have some problems that seemed all too familiar. I went into my Dr. on 5-1-12 and told him I thought the cyst was back. He did not seem to think that was the case but sent me for an ultrasound. It was confirmed, I had a 4.53cm cyst but not to worry it would probably resolve itself and to come back in 2 months.
I returned on 7-3-12 with hope but knowing the truth deep down. My cyst had grown to over 9cm. I was devastated. Since I only have one ovary we decided to try another option to try to shrink it. To do everything we could to save the ovary and the possibility of any harm but to no avail. I began to have so much pain that it was getting difficult to pick up my sweet Coen. I went back in on 7-31-12 to find it had not gotten any smaller; it had grown to 9.73cm and was possibly causing some harm to my fallopian tube. It has to come out.
I knew that my Dr. will do everything he can to protect my ovary, my possibility to grow our family, my life, but very little gave me comfort to know that in a moment my ability to have any more children could be taken away.And I know there are many ways to add to a family. But for the moment I was being selfish and I admit it. I also know that God has always had a plan for me, for my family; and I needed to trust in nothing but that. So on the morning of 8-13-12 I went into the hospital and put my life and my fertility in my Dr. and Lord’s hands. I was scared.
Though the Dr. had to do a great deal of work in there, my ovary was saved!  My fallopian tube remain the same, blocked.  But we knew we had to just put our faith in God's hands.
On 2-10-13 I took the test that confirmed it.  Went into the Dr. for the blood test to confirm.  So then I set out to plan the perfect reveal for the hubs.  It was craft time for Coen and me!  How great that it was Valentine's week!  We finger painted in red and cut out hearts.  Then I had him make hand prints. This is what the hand print looked like.

It was a great surprise!  We did the same thing with both of our parents and it was great!

So here we are!  So will I be posting more regularly now?  Yeah, who knows.  But I will share the journey of going from one kid to two with honesty and humor!

Today, choose love!
Kristin