Pregnancy did what to you?

Hair growth has made me want to start my own at home spa parties that include spot lights, high magnification mirrors, tweezers, waxes, and maybe even one of those No-No hair removal systems.  Ah a ladies night of facial hair removal.  Good times.

Not only do you get a baby at the end but you get some of these lovely parting gifts!  These are the true stories of ladies who have been there and done that, AND have the stretch marks to prove it!  I was going to put this into categories but I really think how they put it is much funnier!  Names have been removed to save you from accidentally saying something to one of them and then having serious pain inflicted upon you!  

"Ok, weird post-pregnancy stuff. I now have a ton of ear wax - like, so much that I can feel it running out of my ear. My food aversions have continued - I could not eat chicken or green beans at all during either pregnancy (both of which I ate ALL THE TIME pre-pregnancy), and I still struggle with them now. I never realized, and maybe it is because of all the swelling I had (I gained up to 7lbs a day in the last week before Conner was born!), that after my c-section, my belly would now lay over the top of itself - GROSS! I thought my breasts would even out as my left was slightly larger than the right; nope - the left just increased more than the right. Another boob one - I was not able to successfully breastfeed and my milk never came in, but my boobs definitely sag now! My sense of smell is still heightened. My vocabulary has decreased - all of those big college level words are gone. Even though I had two c-sections, sex was still way uncomfortable after I was allowed to "get back in the saddle" again - not like I ever want to anymore! Last one I can think of right now - my feet increased a size and a half."

Me,  "That list was wonderfully horrific! I have many of those issues too! But I have to say the earwax made me laugh so hard I peed a little - oh yeah another problem after pregnancy - Kegels - what mom can remember/wants to do that!?!

" I hate kegels b/c they make me feel that special kind of funny "down there" yet I can't sneeze, cough, or laugh without peeing."

 "Oh, and I now have the attention span of a toddler."

Me on the topic of Kegels, "Yep and it kinda makes me want to pee so I feel it is all in vain!"

"Here's another one! I still have flutters in my belly that feel like a baby moving - ghost kicks I guess I would call them - and they are NOT gas."

Me, "Did we mention your brain goes to crap!"

Me, "I had no idea that pregnancy would change my skin in so many ways and for good - Not just stretch marks - but my lower abdominal area now breaks out - my Dr. said, "yeah that is one of those things that can happen from pregnancy hormones."

"Mines not really funny, more really sucky. After pregnancy I now have rosacea and skin lesions :( Dermatologist has me on meds for the lesions."

Ah the pregnancy glow!

Me, "Uh, why do I now have the complexion of a 15 year old?  Zits in my 30's? Boo that!"

I think my expression says it all!

" For me it was facial hair! The hormones from my first pregnancy caused my facial hair to get dark and ever since I've been a bleaching and plucking fool!"

Me, "Then just when you think you have them all - one peeks out in public! If you are like me you run to the bathroom ASAP to pluck it and then can't find it to save your life!

"I had to have moles removed b/c they got so much bigger. They would grow each pregnancy from the hormones and never shrink. I don't even want to talk about my stretched-out skin on my stomach!"

"I had these little skin tags pop out, and I now have psoriasis on my scalp that I have to constantly deal with (gross, huh!) And of course I can no longer do jumping jacks, and if I sneeze or cough too hard...there goes the pee! I love that AFTER I was pregnant with my third, my midwife looked at me and said, "Yeah, the body really starts to fall apart with the third pregnancy." Gee, thanks!!!"

"I had to switch my deodorant to something more potent. I am STINKY post pregnancy, LOL!"

Me, "Oh yeah I forgot about the super sweating!"

"I was preg the hottest summer on record (had my daughter late July) and my feet (already wide) were so swollen that I got ingrowns nails on almost ALL of my toes and had to go to the podiatrist for a procedure to have them cut out! Remind you I religiously had biweekly pedi's and now my feet haven't had a good polish in 6 mo!"

"I used to have to sleep with socks on my feet more so in the winter. My husband couldn't stand it. Now my feet are hot all the time so I sleep with my feet out. My husband hates it because if he touches them they are so cold."

Me, "It changed my changed my body chemistry so much that I was getting monthly infections - yeah cuz that is what you need when you have a new baby!"

We didn't even go into all the beautiful hair you just gain starts falling out like crazy and my bathroom looks like it has hair tumbleweeds!  Those gorgeous nails you had, yep say well to peeling splitting nails!

So there you have it.  All that and a beautiful baby that loves you beyond measure.  At the end of the day it is all worth it, at least to all of these brave moms who shared and me.  If I grow an entire beard, pee myself everyday, and never loose this weight; I would never trade any of it for my boys.  

So look at that my boys already taught me something about letting go!

If you have a post pregnancy change you want to share please comment below or if you are not brave message me and I will share it without your name!

If you think I have forgotten about the Wellness Health Challenge I have not!  I am sorry I have gotten a little behind.  But I am letting go of that too!  Week one went well for me.  A 30 minute walk with my family and a 45 minute Aqua Zumba class!  It rocked.  If you get the chance, check it out.  Zumba No one can see what you are doing and it is so much fun!
 Lets move onto week two!  In addition to two days a week 30 minutes of exercise add in 2 serving of vegetables per day.  I know that also seems easy but for some that is huge.  Keep track and keep on the right path.  We can do this!

Today choose love!
Kristin 

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Apps to motivate your buns off!

     As we are going into Memorial Day weekend I wanted to give everyone some positive reinforcement!
Here are some Apps and songs I like to keep me motivated to be healthy! Even better for this penny pincher, they are all free!!!! I am using all of these and I love them.  I hope they are helpful to you as well.  If you have a health or music related App you love please share with the class!

Health Apps

Running through sprinkler totally counts as exercise!

My Fitness Pal - You can enter all of the food and water you consume in a day, as well as exercise.  You put in your information and it tells you calorie wise how much to eat based on your info and goals.  Very easy to use as it has a database of foods that is extremely extensive!
My Fitness Pal app

Nexercise - This is one you log all of your physical activities - including playing with your kids or house cleaning!  Easy to use and you get points that go toward Mpoints.  If you have not used Mpoints you are missing out!  There are tons of apps that you can get points for using that you can redeem for gift cards, stuff, or to give to charity!  I love it so much I am practically addicted! I guess I better share a link to that too!
Nexercise app                   Mpoints

Everymove
I like this reward related app better than some of the others I have tried.  It is a little limited on the rewards at this point but motivating none the less.  I am using it to donate to The Make-A-Wish Foundation!
Everymove app

itriage 
This one is a great way to keep track of your health information!  I have to admit I have not spent too much time entering my info into this but it could come in really handy if you were in an accident or something and someone needed to get your info.  My hubs could really use it since he would never remember all my health info!  Remember that Spencer, if I am unable to give my info get on this app!
iTriage app

Music Apps

Just a little shot from my seat last year at a
Dave Matthews Band concert!!!!!!!

Songza
I love this app for a go to playlist for any occasion.  It has been a great way to play children's music since we don't have a lot that we own.  It has many different ways to find just the music you need to get through any mood or activity!  I really wish I could be using the playlist for Lying on a Beach right now (I could but since I am not lying on a beach it would depress me), then I could be listing to artist like Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, and Donavon Frenkenreiter!
Songza

Spotify
This is my hubs go to app for music!  You can rock your face off to your favorite artist  or I can listen to a playlist based on my husband's profile! That might earn me bonus points (I think I have plenty of points racked up) but I think I would probably just go ahead and listen to Dave Matthews Band instead!!!!
Spotify

Freegal music
Who doesn't wanna download and keep music!  You have to have a library card but then you can download 3 free songs from their catalog each week!
Freegal Music


Playlist - these are a few I think to keep my motor running right now!

Roar - Katy Perry
Born This Way - Lady Gaga
Video -India.Arie
Stand Up - Dave Matthews Band
Hey Mama - Black Eyed Peas

Have a great weekend and if you haven't already joined me on Facebook for more good stuff and crazy posts do it!  You won't regret it like I regret telling my son I would make him an Octopod from the Octonauts cake!.  That oughta turn out special!

Pin with me on Pinterest too!

Today choose love!!!
Kristin

He said what to a 13 year old girl?

     How did my first week of loving my body go?  I have to say there was something very freeing about putting myself out there and letting everyone know my challenges with my personal body image.  I received so many wonderful comments.  It really made it easier to be kind to myself.  Anytime I began to get into old patterns of though, "You look like a stuffed sausage in that!" I would snap right back to, "hey, you just told a bunch of people you aren't gonna do that anymore!"  So I would change my thinking.  In fact I wore a shirt I had been refusing to wear because I was sure it made me look lumpy.  But guess what, I got so many compliments even from my almost 3 year old!
     Well lets just jump right into a big one!  Overall body image.  This one goes a ways back. I would say it was probably around the time I changed dance companies.  Up until the age of 11 I had been with one that really focused more on the costumes and less on the dance to put it nicely.  But when I changed to a very formal ballet studio it changed a lot of my thinking.
     Right away I noticed a huge difference.  Everyone looked about the same.  Stick thin, super slicked hair in a bun, black leotard, pink tights, and pink ballet slippers.  No place for individuality and certainly no place for curves.  The more and more serious I got about dance, especially ballet, the more I tried to conform.  I saw other dancers eating nothing but carrots and celery, so I ate nothing but carrots and celery.  Oh the company dancers are only eating baby food, I am gonna do that too.  So you can image how a young girl of 13 would take a comment from one of the very respected instructors.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  He said, "You will never make it with those boobs.  You need to lose weight."
     I wanted to make it.  I wanted to dance.  I loved how I felt when I danced.  But at that point I felt nothing but fat.  So I went down the path many dancers do.  Self loathing and self destruction.  I danced pretty much daily from the age of 13 and I was sure that was not enough so I would go home and practice and do hundreds of push ups, sit ups, and anything else I could think of that might help me lose weight.  When that didn't seem to help I began to seriously limit my intake.  Okay to be to the point, I would now characterize myself as anorexic.  I lied to everyone saying I had already eaten or wasn't feeling well.  I would take super small portions and throw half of it away.  I honestly was proud when I was 5'4" and 99lbs.

High school dance years, Junior year
 I believe and about 105lbs.

     Did I really look good?  Umm, no.  I know that now.  I looked sick and I felt sick.  I hate thinking of the damage I did to my body because someone told me I was too big, fat, or not skinny enough.

Senior Prom I was probably
about 115 lbs here

       At the end of the day the saying is really only sort of true.  "The way you talk to your children becomes their inner voice."   My parents did a great job of building us up and making our inner voices strong.  Until someone else takes over.  So maybe we also need to be more aware of the voices of those in our children's lives.  Teachers, coaches, peers, and so many others do play a part in a child's inner voice.
 


 I wish I could say leaving that ballet company changed everything but it didn't.  I was stuck in that mind set until sometime in college.  I tried to keep that Freshman 15 away but it got me.  And guess what?  I actually felt better.  I had curves and lets be honest it got me some attention too.  So that should be the end right?  No way I am a woman and I do see the media.
   
    I did pretty well in college until depression got a hold of me.  I was really in a place where I preferred to eat and be a little heavy so maybe no one would notice me.
    Counseling and medication helped me a lot.  But I have still been up and down with my weight over the last 10 years.  I love food.  Sometimes I love it too much.  Sometimes I forget to eat all together because everyone need something and like many moms, I put me last.  And exercise, well housework and chasing kids counts right?

Me at my healthiest and happiest!  On my Honeymoon, 137 lbs.
 Yes, some would say that is too much.  Not me, I liked me a lot at this point. 

I am 170 lbs of post baby-post c-section me.
And yes, if you look closely I am wearing maternity leggings.
I can't help it I love them and if you fold over the
maternity part - well then they are just yoga style leggings

     What am I saying to myself now?  "This body danced and can still dance for the pure joy of it!"  "This body has been though 8 surgeries and broken bones and is still strong!"  "This body told science to shut it and created and carried 2 amazing little boys!"  "This body has cared for and about more people than I can count!"

Yep, I am considering this brave!
That is me now.  I'm sorry it isn't better quality
 but who wants to waste time on the befores right?

   


 Is that it then?  I will just love me as I am and go about my business?  No way man!  We all have to strive to take the best care of ourselves!  So does that mean I am going on a diet and going to exercise every day?  Uh no, and you know why?  Going into self care in an all or nothing fashion does not work for most people.  No, I am going back to something I did with my family a while back.
    I called it the Family Health Challenge but we will just call it the Healthy Life Challenge.  Each week we take on something new.  A new lifestyle change.  By taking things one change at a time it really can become a habit.  Like the saying goes, "How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time!"
 
     So I hope you will join me.  It doesn't matter if you are in the best shape of your life.  This is going to encompass many different kinds of health and wellness.  I took my starting picture and you might want to too!  I will also be taking my measurements and weight, through my energy and how my clothes fit is really how I plan to gauge things.
     I also think incentives do a lot to motivate me.  I will make some suggestions but feel free to pick your own, but don't use food, even healthy food, very often as food as a reward can be a slippery slope.
 

     Lets do this!  Consider this week 1 and for week 1 the challenge is to get moving!  Exercise of any sort 2 days this week for at least 30 minutes.  Ideas for incentive: a new pair of socks, a jump rope from the Dollar Store (for all my penny pinchers out there), or an insulated cup for all the water you will drink!.  I am going for the socks!  I love me some new cushy socks!

Good luck and please feel free to comment or ask questions.

Today choose love,
Kristin

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Let It Go...no this is not a post about the movie Frozen...but that movie is awesome!

     Well hello all!  I know it has been forever but I am letting go of that too.  I am tired; tired of anxiety over things I do not have to be worried about.  I am on a mission to save myself from myself!  So let’s get started and maybe I can help you too!

     So yesterday was Mother's Day, my 4th one.  As I was getting ready to go spend time with my family, I studied myself in the mirror.  This is usually an unhappy event that includes beating myself up over every flaw I see or think I see.  I know I am not alone here.  Getting as close as I can to the mirror to try to see how I can cover that up or what else I need to find a way to fix.  I was getting more and more upset as I noticed the acne that is coming back on my face, that big bump in my nose, and all the lumpy bumpy overweight parts.  I honestly felt like I couldn't find a good spot anywhere.  So I went about the task of putting on all kinds of products and makeup to try to look better.  Then the even harder task of finding some clothes that might conceal the post baby (7 month old baby) body I loathed.

My and my post baby body and 7
month old on Mother's Day 2014.

     As I was mentally tearing myself a new one, I thought about each of my boys.  4 years ago I was pregnant with my first son Coen.  Of course at that time I did not know he was a he.  We wanted to be surprised again.  See just about 9 months before we told we were not going to be able to have children naturally.

     I remember it like it was yesterday.  I lay on that cold metal table as they shot me full of some dye to see if my one and only fallopian tube was 100% blocked.  That's right I had also found out shortly before that my body only contained one fallopian tube and one ovary.  The Radiologist turned and looked at me as my lady parts were exposed and I was in terrible pain from the procedure and said, "Well I guess you will have to talk with your Dr. about IVF," and left the room.  I held it together as long as I could and when I saw my husband, who was not allowed to go back with me, I lost it.  This body had let me down again and this time it let my husband down too.  (To read more about this see my blog post Babies, Babies everywhere!)

     I spent a good deal of time being so angry with my body.   See I have always regarded my body and my mind or soul as separate.  It is me against it.  So I did what many people do, I ate my anger and my sorrow until I got up to 185lbs.  But somewhere along that line I got back up on my feet and decided to stop fighting this body and try to work with it and IVF.  2 weeks before we were to go in for our first consultation God showed me this body has no mistakes.  I was pregnant.  But even more important than the miracle God had made with us was the gift of renewed faith.  A reminder that above all of this, God loves us and really does have a plan for us.

Me three weeks before my second son was born.

     This was His plan to show me this body doesn’t have mistakes because He doesn’t make mistakes.  This, flawed in my eyes body, against all odds made and carried two perfect boys.  How can I be mad at that?  And how can I say and truly believe in my mind, that they are perfect and still think that God, the same Amazing God who created them, could create a horribly flawed body?  I mean, I have never regarded those with disabilities or scars as ugly or a mistake. From all of the people and families I have met working with people with disabilities (or as I really prefer to say, people with different abilities) I know at some point the majority realize they are not a mistake and that they are each beautiful and perfect in just the way they were specially made. 

     So how did I let all this mean and evil talk creep back in?  Lots of things I’m sure but I am not going to waste time right now analyzing all of them, but we will get there because it is important to know what drives us to that place in order to know how to U-turn from it. 

     I had always thought if I had a daughter I was going to have to be positive for her so she would never feel the way I did.  When I had boys, I figured well whatever they won’t pay any attention to what I say and do about my body.  Boys don’t care.  What a crock!  If they are going to be self-confident and treat others as though all of our “packages” (no, I am not taking about what you’ve got in your pants) are beautiful and deserve respect, then it needs to start from home.

I want to be that carefree with my body again!

     Right now these boys believe they are beautiful and perfect because they hear it from the people who loved them every day.  And you know what I am going to keep telling them.  I know there are those people who will say telling them that will label them and make things difficult psychologically.  Oh phooey I say!  The world will spend the rest of their lives and mine telling them they are anything but perfect. 

    And I am guessing no God who is all powerful, all knowing, and all loving would be pleased if you hated on the gifts you were given. “Kristin, so your time is up.  Let’s look at how you treated these precious gifts I gave you.  You physically and emotionally abused your body?  The body I made for you?”  I am guess that won’t go over very well.

   Well that’s it then.  I am going to just think I am beautiful and perfect all the time and fairies and unicorns are going to prance from each of my former flaws!  Yeah, no.  No, one can turn it off just like that.  But I want to prove to myself and others that I can work on turning my thoughts and feeling toward my body around.  This is the beginning of this journey.  I want to look at the things I have struggled with and why.  Am I going to give up makeup and my hiding clothes?  No.  If something makes me feel good about me and won’t be hurtful I am going to embrace it.  I want to be healthy and happy with me inside and out. 

Me with makeup and "good" lighting.  I actually said to myself,
 "Self you look good today!"  Let's get more of that, less of, "You fatty put those

So here we go.  I encourage you to share your story.  To be honest with yourself.   I accept and welcome comments.  I know that not everyone will have kind things to say but I ask that no one make rude comments to others. 

     

And if anyone was looking for recipes, humor, stuff about kids, Pinterest posts, and the stuff I blogged about before don’t worry there will still be plenty of that too.  So if you like what you are reading please follow, share, and like my blog!

Today choose love,

Kristin  

No makeup fresh out of the shower!
 This is gonna be a challenge!

Second time around

So it has been over 4 months since I posted last!  Holy cats!  I am just gonna say it – this 2^nd pregnancy is kicking my butt.  A little bit literally.  My left butt cheek has been killing me for about a month now and I do not know why but it blows the big one.  I was so naïve.  I had such an easy, I would even say, beautiful first pregnancy that I thought this will be a little harder but only because I am chasing a toddler.  Boy am I dumb!  For those of you thinking about jumping into number two (bed), you may not want to read this or you might! 

Let me say I was in slightly better shape this time around.  I was weighing 15lbs less than when I started my last pregnancy.  I thought that would help.  I am sure in some way it is healthier but a human being growing inside you is gonna weigh you down regardless.  I also sit a lot less than I did working through my first pregnancy but chasing a toddler sucks every bit of energy I have.  Oh and did I mention he no longer naps.  Mommy needs naps but not happening in this house.

I ate like a champ first time around.  By that I mean I ate every 2-3 hours.  I felt great too.  This time I am so busy worrying about everyone else that I think I eat about every 4-5 hours and when I feel dizzy I sneak something in quick.  Even right now as I am sitting here with nothing else to do, I am hungry.  But I am too tired, sore, and lazy to get up and find something to eat!

Okay it is time to talk about those beautiful changes in your body during pregnancy.  I toned up a bit after my first pregnancy.  Breastfeeding was an amazing way to lose weight and my son’s desire for me to walk with him and bounce him made him a great personal trainer.  However, when I started to have issues with my second cyst on my ovary I got lazy and depressed, so guess what happened.  Some pounds came back!  Oh well I thought.  But as the pregnancy weight began to start showing up I saw how the second pregnancy looks different.  Oh I have the belly but I also have the flabby flap at the bottom of the belly.  It is not cute or anything that should be photographed.  It is there along with the stretch marks, all of which I have earned.

 

I have to brag that the first time around, I was always able to reach my feet, shave my legs, pretty much do anything for myself.  This time I can reach my feet but it is rough.  I am still shaving my legs but it is so hard and I am thinking about getting in touch with a pharmaceutical company about a pill for the pregnant ladies that stops hair growth.  Think how awesome that would be!  No eyebrow plucking, no shaving the legs, and no magnifying glass mirror searching out all of those new chin hairs that seem to come with pregnancy!  I have really found this time that any sort of bending over to do anything requires a bit of pumping yourself up for and a whole lotta shortness of breath after.

Okay I am only going to share one last sad thing about this second experience but it is a really bad one.  I pee myself.  And we are not just talking about a little tinkle when I sneeze.  I wish.  I do those stupid Kegels and they have let me and my clothing down.  Laugh – pee, sneeze - pee, cough – pee, fart – oh man major pee.  Okay you might think well that is kinda normal right.  Well here it is – the big one I never saw coming.  I lose complete bladder control in the shower!  I am just going about my business and all of the sudden the water gets warmer down my leg and the shame is running through my head.  I can handle a lot of things but peeing in the shower is ridiculous!  I am literally so pissed about this new change!  But what can you do?

But I do have to say there have even been a few things that have been better this time.  I am not spending all of my free time reading about what this baby is growing, getting, or doing today.  Things are a happening in there – good.  I am doing things out here and we will see you shortly.  This has been good for my stress level.  I have been able to wear my engagement ring the entire time so far (my wedding band is ½ a size smaller because I was a fool and now I am lazy) and last time I was only able to wear it 4 months of the pregnancy!  The giant pregnancy underpants (they are so huge we need to call them pants for sure) are too big but they are more comfortable than my regulars so they still win.  But most importantly, getting to watch my son talk to my belly and kiss it are priceless.  He talks about the baby daily.  I know it will be a huge change for all of us but for now he is excited about “his baby” and so are we.  Less than 5 weeks to go!

 

Allied Forces - Guest Blogger!

I am so excited to introduce my first guest blogger!  She is a great friend and a wonderful support mom (another mom who listens without judgment!).  Please welcome Jessica to the Table! 

 

Allied Forces (Mommy, Daddy & Naptime) vs. Lyla

(Consistent & follow through parenting)

                Hello!  My name is Jessica and I attended high school with Kristin (we actually taught a dance class together to small children back then) and I love reading her blog. She asked me if I’d like to write something sometime.  After our WWIII battle today at my house, I thought this would be a good topic J.   First of all- I am the mother of a very strong-spirited 2 year old daughter- Lyla and a sweet 6 mos old daughter-Avyn.  My husband is an elementary school teacher and I am a licensed school counselor and a licensed mental health therapist. I was an elementary school counselor in the public schools for 6 years and worked in a behavioral health hospital for 9 years.  I resigned from both after Lyla was born and pursued a private practice.   I am currently managing a part time private practice along with all my mothering duties.

                A few months back I was contacted by the local newspaper to give an ‘expert’ opinion for an article.  I almost told the lady she should probably call someone else as I am no ‘expert’! As she was asking me if I’d like to contribute I stopped myself from saying my initial response of “I’m not an expert,” and thought wait- am I an expert? I’ve never thought of myself as an expert and no one has ever referred to me as one until now… but what to do with this newspaper article?  I decided against my urge to tell her I’m not knowledgeable enough and give it a go.  I have since contributed to three other articles for magazines, papers, etc.  I’m sharing this because in my head I’m really no expert- as this infers “perfect” and I am a life-long learner and feel there is always more to know. However, after having a discussion with my best friend about this “expert” business I came to the realization that after 10 years of working in mental health primarily with children and parents I guess maybe I am sort of an “expert”.   This is a story however to show that even a child behavior/development/effect parenting counselor “expert” isn’t a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination- because perfect parenting doesn’t exist!!  

                We have been struggling with nap time at my house over the past month or so.  It started when my 2 year old’s molars began to appear and went downhill from there.  I am exclusively breastfeeding my 6 month old and my 2 year old nurses three times a day (morning, nap and bed time) when I am home. Yes call me crazy… and NO my kid will not be nursing at kindergarten- RELAX!  The international recommendation to nurse is at least 2 years; the average age world wide of weaning is age 3.   I could say the toddler has created this habit (well I actually created it- most child habits are parent created) that she would nurse for nap time, fall asleep in my arms and as soon as I’d go to lay her in her crib she would wake up, flail like a fish out of water, scream and well that’s all folks! Good bye nap time…    I realized today that on Tuesday and Thursdays when I leave for work at 2pm I wouldn’t let her cry very long as I didn’t want her to be in a fit of emotional rage when my 78 year old great aunt (who taught preschool most of her life & is VERY sprite for her age) to deal with my daughter screaming in her crib. So I’d let her cry a few minutes and then go get her.  This really backfired in my face over the last few weeks as she wouldn’t lay down for me.  Now on Saturday I worked all day and MAGICALLY she went down for Daddy with no fight, no crying and of course no nursing? Well that’s just dandy-makes me feel wonderful. 

So here we are Sunday afternoon- she woke up early before 7am (oh ya and while she isn’t napping well she is also getting up early too?) and she’s TIRED at 11am.  She usually naps at 12:30 or 1:00.  Perfect- since we have a birthday party to attend this afternoon let’s take an early nap.  She’s all for it- says she wants to go nurse and take a nap- I’m doing cartwheels.   We do our thing- nurse in the chair for about 10 min (we play one of those music things when it goes off time for bed).  She’s dead asleep in my arms- I’m thinking- YEAH I can take a shower and get ready and we can leave when nap time ends (my 6mos old is asleep already).  I go to put her down- FLAILING FISH!!  I try to put her blanket over her blow her a kiss and walk out.  I go to daddy and say- see this is what happens.  So Daddy goes up there- talks to Lyla & suggests a book. She buys it- then decides she wants Mommy to read her the book not Daddy. He says “okay but after the book you have to go to sleep” and she agrees.  At this point I may interject- making deals with a toddler is FRUITLESS- never a good idea to bargain with any child especially a toddler. But we ALL do it from time to time- even an “expert”. 

                So I go back in, we sit in the chair and pick out a book- Lyla wants to nurse again while I read her the book (she’s a nursing addict- she calls my “nursies” the ‘big one’ and the ‘little one’ as we all know one breast is typically slightly larger than the other and often chooses which one she wants to nurse from at that moment- weaning her is obviously going to be WWIV).  So we read the book- and again I remind her that when the book is done its nap time.  I mention we have fun things to do this afternoon and she has to take a nap.  Book ends- kisses, hugs, sweet dreams. She lays down- I walk out- 30 seconds later she’s standing in her crib (we have a video monitor) SCREAMING!  L   Daddy went to take a nap, baby Avyn is napping- screw it I’m taking a shower.  So I take the monitor with me in the bathroom while I shower listening to Lyla yell: “Mommy I want you right now, I need you right now, I want out of here, I am not tired, I don’t want to take a nap” etc.  This was extremely difficult, as the comforter in me wanted to jump out of the shower, wet and soapy and just go get her- but I knew that wasn’t what was needed at this point.  For the record I am NOT a supporter of the cry it out method in babies.  I use attachment theory in a lot of my practice and crying it out is not good for bonding/attachment.  However at age 2 years and 3 months it’s very different.   My “expert” suggestion is don’t let your baby under 12 months cry longer than 10 minutes.  At 2 yrs 3 months I had to undo the bad habit I created which meant letting her cry and I knew it L.

                When I get out of the shower the yelling has slowed down a bit- still going in waves- like the ocean.  Quiet whining, building up to “I want outta here” to then screaming “I need you Momma” then silence and we start all over.   I decide she needs to lay down so I’m going to dry my hair which is a huge treat for me since I don’t ever have time to dry my hair- heck I don’t usually take a shower alone as Lyla is often with me.  While I’m drying my hair the crying/yelling really slows down and even stops a few times.  I look at the monitor and this child is of course still standing in her crib holding her blanket and stuffed animal leaning against the crib rail falling asleep!  Her head nods forward her knees to start to buckle and she slides sideways- then she shakes- wakes up and starts yelling again!  This goes on for probably 10-15 min.  Seriously this child is so stubborn she’s going to fall asleep standing up in her crib- Lord help me.  Finally 50 min after the last time I walked out, 1 hr and 50 min after we started nap time Miss Spirited Lyla finally gives in, lies down in her crib, covers herself up with her blankie and goes to SLEEP!   Unfortunately she slept less than an hour but at this point that was but a small loss in a much larger victory! When she awoke I told her “Thank you so much for taking a nap- don’t you feel better?”  “Mommy needs to do a better job of making sure you take a nap every day and rest in your crib- sorry you were sad about taking a nap but it’s what’s best for you.”

                So what to learn here: 1. Parents create bad habits in kids- not kids.  Accept it and admit it- we all do it!  2. I really wanted to go get her when she was screaming that she needed me, but I knew we had to figure out this nap time battle and this is one I had to win.  3. I wasn’t following through with what I said over the last few weeks and I needed to mean what I say, and say what I mean.  4. Always empathize with your kids- EX:  “I’m sorry you’re mad but you can’t have a 2^nd cookie”.  You are validating their feelings; which makes them feel understood by you. You are giving them a word for their feelings which will help them communicate it later in life. But, don’t give in.  Effective parenting is labeling and validating feelings but not giving in when you’ve set a boundary or said no.

                The Allied Forces won this battle- but rest assured it won’t be the last, and with Lyla’s strong-willed spirit she will win a few!  All parents make mistakes; all parents create bad habits in their kids and then get frustrated with their child about it- even “expert” parents!  The key is to realize your part in it, fix it and stand your ground even when it hurts your heart. Parenting is hard- but admitting your mistakes to yourself and to your children is what fixes all those darn parenting mistakes we make!  Make your goal to be a loving effective parent J not a perfect one!

 Jessica A. Zimmerman LMHC 260.452.5336

                Thank you Jessica for a wonderful post!  I gotta say it does feel good to know even an “expert” is at a loss at times.  If any other followers of Nuts of the Round Table would like to be a guest blogger please contact me.  We can all learn from each other; whether it be about new recipes, parenting, caregiving, green living, or just plan living; and it just feels good to be heard or find someone you relate with!

Today, choose love!

Kristin

Babies, Babies Everywhere!

Babies, babies everywhere!  It seems like everyone I know is having a baby, including me!  This is a little tip sheet I wrote for my sister in law before her son was born.  Reading through it reminded me of the things that are important with a new baby.  So here they are.  I hope you enjoy and please share your tips as well!

Tips for new Mommies

·         Be ready to "waste”.

o    You will waste diapers – before you can even get them on that little one will pee all over it.  Chuck it and move on. 

o   There will be jars of baby food that they may have eaten only 3 bites out of.  Chuck it after the 3 days and don’t think twice about it.

o    You need to “waste” time.  This is for your sanity.  Surf the Internet, read a magazine (a non-parenting magazine), and nap like it is your job.  Taking time for you, however you choose, is really not wasting time.  You will feel like it is, but it is caring for yourself.   This means it is caring for that sweet baby .

·         Take a bag of needed items with you everywhere you go – in the home. I kid you not, I carry a bag with me everywhere in the house full of things I need .  You will never have enough hands or arms when you need them.  A bag makes it easy to throw something in and take it to another room.

·         Take a camera everywhere. I put it in the bag!  This way I have a camera with me wherever we are because there will be moments you will want a picture of and no time to run for the camera.

·         Take water or some healthy beverage  everywhere – again put it in the bag.  You will not think to drink enough but you have to.

·         Eat – snack often.  You may think this is no problem but trust me you want to be prepared.  Buy healthy snacks you can grab and eat with one hand.  Have healthy frozen meals on hand.  There are going to be many nights you will not want to cook.

·         Be in touch with those who support you – you will find out fast who supports you 100% and who is going to judge you anytime they can. 

·         Go outside daily! You need fresh air and daylight on your face.  Too much time inside will suck the life out of you.

·         I have started ordering a lot of things online because shopping is soooo difficult with a baby. There are a lot of great sites out there. Amazon Mom gives you free shipping and great deals, especially when you have items shipped on a regular basis. That is my only commercial I promise.

·         Take care of the outside of you too.  You will wash your hands more times than you can count.  Long periods of standing and rocking will make your feet hurt.  You will kiss that baby so many times your lips will get chapped.  So take time for exercise and mini pampering, because as they say, “You are worth it!”

·         A word about breastfeeding and lactation.  It is a roller coaster.  Sometimes it feels like it will never end and sometimes it seems like you can’t get them to start.  There may be accidents and some pain, but the feeling of knowing you alone are the source of nourishment for your child is worth it all.  So you must have great nursing pads to prevent the leaks,  cream to help with the pain, and patience for the rest. 

·         Parenthood will test a marriage like you never thought possible.  It may not seem like it is possible but you will battle.  So learn to fight fair.  Communicate, communicate, communicate.  Never take each other for granted.  This little person came from you two loving each other, so remember to do little things for each other and date nights are mandatory!

·         In whatever way you can record the milestones and the mundane.  I could never seem to get that baby book started but I have posts on Facebook , and a box full of scratch paper with things jotted down.  Fill in the book later – live the moments now.

·         Above all else - Listen to you – no one, let me repeat – NO ONE knows your baby like you do.  Not friends, Dr.’s random people at the store,  your mom, your mother-in-law,  not even your husband.  If it feels right to you, it is.  Spending time second guessing yourself is time wasted.

·         Everyone will tell you and it bears repeating – soak in every second, every smile, every tear, everything you can because it truly goes faster than you can imagine and it is the most amazing journey you will ever have.

So if this is your first - good luck on your new journey!

If this is your second or more - make time of each of your children, your spouse, and yourself.

Today, choose love!

Kristin

Did I hear the word "Muffins"?

So I never used to eat breakfast at breakfast.  I was the kid - into adulthood who lived through the morning on nothing but liquids.  My mom would get some nutrition in me with good ol' Carnation Instant Breakfast.  Every great once in awhile I would eat more - if donuts or some other sweet treat was involved.  Then even into my early twenties I would have a yogurt smoothie and coffee.  Don't get me wrong I LOVE breakfast foods.  I just hated to eat in the early a.m.   This all changed when I learned how blood sugar dips and without a steady supply of healthy food energy you get that "crash" feeling and then you eat more than you would and chances are worse than you would have -if only you would have had breakfast.  I became a breakfast fanatic!  I love trying out new healthy recipes for breakfast and all the better if they stretch for several breakfasts!  So today I bring you a combo post of Pinterest success and what came out of it - a recipe of mine.

See I took this woman's idea of a base recipe and then came up with this amazing muffin recipe that my son cannot get enough of and my husband asked to share at a work meeting!

Source: compwalla.wordpress.com via Kristin on Pinterest

 

Source: compwalla.wordpress.com via Kristin on Pinterest

Her basic Muffin Mix is a great way to start experimenting with ingredients.  I did a first version that was pretty good with apples and cinnamon but these are what I would like to think of as coffeehouse good!

Banana Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Muffins

For 2 dozen

Preheat oven to 400 and spray muffin tins with non stick flour spray.

2 cups of whole wheat flour

2 cups of quick cooking oatmeal

2 Tbsp of baking powder

scant 1/2 tsp of salt

1 cup of skim milk

1 cup of vanilla Greek yogurt

2 eggs

1/3 cup of applesauce

1/3 cup of vegetable oil

2-3 mashed bananas

2 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips

2/3 cup of packed brown sugar

1 Tbsp of honey

Mix dry, add wet, add the rest. Mix until just moistened. Fill muffin cups nearly full.

Sprinkle with brown sugar. (This gives it a great slightly sweet crunchy top!)

Bake for 18 minutes.

Let cool for at least 5 minutes.

Enjoy!

If you wanted to go healthier (sad for you - just kidding - I should be healthier too!) you could substitute raisins for the chocolate chips, egg substitute for the eggs, and Splenda for the brown sugar.

 

2013 what am I going to do with you?

So I do not do resolutions so much as I do not like setting myself up for failure (I prefer for failure to happen naturally as it was intended).  I more like to think of them as a list of To Do's or goals for my life and I really don't set timelines of, in the next year.  Okay so that was all along the lines of vague, so I am going to put myself out there and announce some of my goals or to do's for the year and how I plan to work on them - cuz lets face it, when you are working on a major goal it is an evolving and changing thing.  Okay enough preface lets get down to it!

• Continue to "Green" my family's lifestyle - I recycle, donate what I can, I have even started using less chemicals but I know I can do more. 
• My goal here is to phase out all chemical based cleaners in my life.  I have got a start using vinegar and baking soda to clean the toilet!  I know many people think without the smell of bleach it isn't clean but I am here to tell you it bubbles and scrubs great.  Don't worry I will share all of my progress and tips!  The key is to think a little bit ahead of when you will run out of cleaner.  For example, I am not a fan of the detergents for dishwashers so I have been researching alternatives.  This is my favorite and I plan to test it this week!

Source: kingdomfirstmom.com via Kristin on Pinterest

•  Now let me be honest I want to do this as much for the environment and my family as I do for the ability to save money!  But sometimes I have to go with what is easy.  I have a serious love affair with Charlie's Soap for our laundry.  We cloth diaper (see I am saving money and the Earth) and this stuff is AMAZING.  I might have to do a longer feature on it in a Products I love post, but until then check them out!

                            Safe, non-toxic, biodegradable soap | Charlie's Soap

• Buying more foods from local farmers and organics.  This maybe a little more expensive but in the long run I am making a difference in what my family eats and our health so it is totally worth it.  In order to make this happen I am now ordering from http://www.greenbeandelivery.com/indianapolis/ and boy is it worth it.  We get fresh produce delivered weekly and feel more incentive to use it. 

There is so much more I want to do but you don't want to be reading this forever so I will check back in on my "greening" soon!

• Care for my body - We can all take better care of ourselves in many ways but this year I am focusing on being healthy.
• Make an appointment for skin check.  It is that simple.  Something we take for granted is so important - take time to make the important appointments for your health.  Some Dr.'s will let you schedule up to a year in advance and with most health insurance carriers and the new health care act prevention or wellness checks are free!  So get with it all ready!
• 30 minutes of movement at least 5 days a week.  Yes, I know that is vague but it is that simple too.  Maybe one day I go walk the mall with the kiddo and the next I vacuum and dust for 30 minutes.  It all counts. 
• 7 hours of sleep each 24 hrs.  Okay I have an 18 month old so sleep is never a guarantee but it is important so I will nap more if I need to and go to bed earlier if I need to.  Sleep is so important to everything we do.  I know my patience is much shorter with my son when I don't get about 7 hours.  So sweet Tempurpedic bed, lets snuggle up more!
• Cut myself some slack
• No one is harder on me than me.  I will admit it here and I now I am not alone, I want so badly to be perfect at everything.  It is not about how others see me but how I see myself.  This caused me a huge amount of anxiety for the first year or so of my son's life.  I really felt that I had to be the perfect mom who made everything from scratch, worked really well part time from home, and had a successful jewelry making business.  Oh did I mention a spotless home, perfect body, and happy husband?  Would I ever expect even half of those things from a friend?  Absolutely not.  Why should I expect them from me?  It has only been in about the last month that I have started to change my perceptions and be proud of everything I accomplish. 
• So how will I do this?  Yeah, how?  Well I really think only time will tell and everyday will be a chance to be kinder to myself.  So when I do mess up, it is just an opportunity to "hug" myself a little tighter, maybe do a little "Brightener", and try again.  At the end of the day it is about enjoying the simple moments more.

                                                            

Okay I could go on and on but then no one really wants to hear all about me.  I encourage you to write down some goals and ways you can work on them.  We will revisit this in the future to check in on how I am doing and maybe how some of you brave souls who are willing to share are doing!  My biggest piece of advice on any goal is to break it down into smaller pieces and only take one piece of one goal at a time.  You cannot say I am going to lose weight and give up all sugar, cut 1200 calories, and run 15 miles in the first day and expect you can keep it all up.  Take small bites and you are less likely to choke - good advice for life!
Remember it is about doing better but mistakes and taking a different path than planned can end in results you never expected!
Happy journeys my friends!