Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Pregnancy did what to you?

Hair growth has made me want to start my own at home spa parties that include spot lights, high magnification mirrors, tweezers, waxes, and maybe even one of those No-No hair removal systems.  Ah a ladies night of facial hair removal.  Good times.

Not only do you get a baby at the end but you get some of these lovely parting gifts!  These are the true stories of ladies who have been there and done that, AND have the stretch marks to prove it!  I was going to put this into categories but I really think how they put it is much funnier!  Names have been removed to save you from accidentally saying something to one of them and then having serious pain inflicted upon you!  

"Ok, weird post-pregnancy stuff. I now have a ton of ear wax - like, so much that I can feel it running out of my ear. My food aversions have continued - I could not eat chicken or green beans at all during either pregnancy (both of which I ate ALL THE TIME pre-pregnancy), and I still struggle with them now. I never realized, and maybe it is because of all the swelling I had (I gained up to 7lbs a day in the last week before Conner was born!), that after my c-section, my belly would now lay over the top of itself - GROSS! I thought my breasts would even out as my left was slightly larger than the right; nope - the left just increased more than the right. Another boob one - I was not able to successfully breastfeed and my milk never came in, but my boobs definitely sag now! My sense of smell is still heightened. My vocabulary has decreased - all of those big college level words are gone. Even though I had two c-sections, sex was still way uncomfortable after I was allowed to "get back in the saddle" again - not like I ever want to anymore! Last one I can think of right now - my feet increased a size and a half."

Me,  "That list was wonderfully horrific! I have many of those issues too! But I have to say the earwax made me laugh so hard I peed a little - oh yeah another problem after pregnancy - Kegels - what mom can remember/wants to do that!?!

" I hate kegels b/c they make me feel that special kind of funny "down there" yet I can't sneeze, cough, or laugh without peeing."

 "Oh, and I now have the attention span of a toddler."

Me on the topic of Kegels, "Yep and it kinda makes me want to pee so I feel it is all in vain!"

    "Here's another one! I still have flutters in my belly that feel like a baby moving - ghost kicks I guess I would call them - and they are NOT gas."

    Me, "Did we mention your brain goes to crap!"

    Me, "I had no idea that pregnancy would change my skin in so many ways and for good - Not just stretch marks - but my lower abdominal area now breaks out - my Dr. said, "yeah that is one of those things that can happen from pregnancy hormones."

    "Mines not really funny, more really sucky. After pregnancy I now have rosacea and skin lesions Dermatologist has me on meds for the lesions."

    Ah the pregnancy glow!

    Me, "Uh, why do I now have the complexion of a 15 year old?  Zits in my 30's? Boo that!"

    I think my expression says it all!

    For me it was facial hair! The hormones from my first pregnancy caused my facial hair to get dark and ever since I've been a bleaching and plucking fool!"

    Me, "Then just when you think you have them all - one peeks out in public! If you are like me you run to the bathroom ASAP to pluck it and then can't find it to save your life!

    "I had to have moles removed b/c they got so much bigger. They would grow each pregnancy from the hormones and never shrink. I don't even want to talk about my stretched-out skin on my stomach!"

    "I had these little skin tags pop out, and I now have psoriasis on my scalp that I have to constantly deal with (gross, huh!) And of course I can no longer do jumping jacks, and if I sneeze or cough too hard...there goes the pee! I love that AFTER I was pregnant with my third, my midwife looked at me and said, "Yeah, the body really starts to fall apart with the third pregnancy." Gee, thanks!!!"

    "I had to switch my deodorant to something more potent. I am STINKY post pregnancy, LOL!"

    Me, "Oh yeah I forgot about the super sweating!"

    "I was preg the hottest summer on record (had my daughter late July) and my feet (already wide) were so swollen that I got ingrowns nails on almost ALL of my toes and had to go to the podiatrist for a procedure to have them cut out! Remind you I religiously had biweekly pedi's and now my feet haven't had a good polish in 6 mo!"

    "I used to have to sleep with socks on my feet more so in the winter. My husband couldn't stand it. Now my feet are hot all the time so I sleep with my feet out. My husband hates it because if he touches them they are so cold."

    Me, "It changed my changed my body chemistry so much that I was getting monthly infections - yeah cuz that is what you need when you have a new baby!"

    We didn't even go into all the beautiful hair you just gain starts falling out like crazy and my bathroom looks like it has hair tumbleweeds!  Those gorgeous nails you had, yep say well to peeling splitting nails!

    So there you have it.  All that and a beautiful baby that loves you beyond measure.  At the end of the day it is all worth it, at least to all of these brave moms who shared and me.  If I grow an entire beard, pee myself everyday, and never loose this weight; I would never trade any of it for my boys.  

    So look at that my boys already taught me something about letting go!

    If you have a post pregnancy change you want to share please comment below or if you are not brave message me and I will share it without your name!

    If you think I have forgotten about the Wellness Health Challenge I have not!  I am sorry I have gotten a little behind.  But I am letting go of that too!  Week one went well for me.  A 30 minute walk with my family and a 45 minute Aqua Zumba class!  It rocked.  If you get the chance, check it out.  Zumba No one can see what you are doing and it is so much fun!
     Lets move onto week two!  In addition to two days a week 30 minutes of exercise add in 2 serving of vegetables per day.  I know that also seems easy but for some that is huge.  Keep track and keep on the right path.  We can do this!

    Today choose love!

    If you laughed and peed a little please like, share, follow the blog, like my Facebook page, follow me on Pinterest, and join in the fun and nuttiness!

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