Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It wasn't me - it was one of the other Tired Mom Personalities!

So just to make sure we are all clear that I am no kinda perfect mom, today I will be sharing some of the madness that has been taking place.  Just an FYI there will be some personal information about me that may be disturbing to some readers.  Judge me all you want.  I don't care.  I prefer to live my life in a very honest and open manner.  This means I like to share - a lot, pretty much what most people think is too much.  But you know what?  I have always found that it relates to someone.  I have gotten more thank yous for things I have had the balls to say (yep I wrote balls - it happens to be my go to word and I say it doesn't have to be a dirty word - it might just be balls!). Alright enough on with my crazy show.
So my kid has been on a sleep protest for what seems like forever.  Naps are less than an hour, wakes up every night for at least a half an hour, whatnot.  I cannot remember the last night I got a decent night's sleep.  Oh wait, yes I do.  It was November 10, 2012 11pm- 10am Las Vegas, NV. That's right.  I went to Vegas and I got sleep!  Anyway, the lack of sleep gets to you and sometimes you get well I would like to say a little bit of multiple personalities. So lets visit some of mine shall we?

  1. Meanie Mom - oh she's as mad as hell and she's not gonna take it anymore (movie reference - if you know it shout it out!)!!!!!  You better either help her out NOW or get the $%#@ outta her way.  This mom has been known to yell at others (including her sweet child), throw things (if I step on that car, dog toy, pile of newspapers, etc one more time, it is getting chucked straight at someone's shins - mom's don't hit heads -causes too much potential work later), and probably more stuff I have blocked out in anger.
  2. Bargaining Mom - I will just let him sleep in my bed just this once (for the 5th night in a row) so we can all get some sleep - all the while getting kicked in the head and sucker punched in the back, why yes you may play with my tampons so I can pluck my chin hair (okay if any men are reading this - and quite frankly I hope some are. I have plenty of goodness to share with you too, I hope this and many other facts about ladies does not shock you too much), lunch in your highchair in the bathroom so I can take a shower and cry in a little bit of peace - yep done it, and the ever popular - cookies for a meal just so you eat something - you bet (I believe it was the great Billy Cosby who said something about chocolate cake being okay for breakfast because it has eggs and milk in it- ha good stuff!).
  3. Pretty much comatose Mom - this mom has zoned out so she has no idea that you have managed to get the remote and somehow locked up the TV (NOOOO!  Now how will I keep you occupied while sitting here barely holding it together?), put stuff in the dryer only to find later that there was still a large piece of broccoli wedged in somewhere that made it thru but strangely looks like it shrunk (who knew the dryer could even shrink food!), or stares at her child playing with something for several moments only to realize that what they are playing with happens to be a 50 Cent CD (no, not the price for those of you know do not know who that is) and is trying to see if it bends - go ahead kid - not like I can ever let you know that I listen to gangsta rap with explicit (man is that a hard word to spell -especially with little sleep) lyrics but for everyone else - yes, yes I do - when that kid is not around this mama needs some inappropriateness loud and proud!
  4. Just plain at her wits end Mom - this is the sitting in the corner rocking and sobbing mom, the mom that is pretty sure she has ruined this sweet child that God blessed her with, has let the exhaustion take over and the thoughts that she is doing everything wrong (you should never have let him sleep in your bed, you shouldn't rock him to sleep, you aren't doing it right - other moms just let them work it out themselves - I am not judging how anyone else gets their kids to sleep either - we all find what works for us and our individual kids), and you can't sleep when sleep is an actual option because you are too worried about - work, bills, your health, the housework, exercise, the dog, what other people think, and maybe a little about some of the things you would like to do for yourself.  This mom is just holding it together as long as she can.  
Today I am a little bit of all four plus probably more. I set my alarm for 6:30am so maybe today I could shower in peace, exercise, or get some work done before I am in 100% Mommymode, but this kid woke up at 6:28am. I cried in the shower as my son ate his lunch and threw food on the bathroom floor.  I let him happily run off with my tampons.  I stood in the bathroom not moving, not really sure what to do next and not sure where he was or what he was doing.  I should be napping, working, or paying bills right now but instead I am writing this post. 

I know you are saying, "Hey nut job, why aren't you doing one of those "more important things"?  You don't get anything for doing this."  At least that is what I have inferred from some comments I have gotten.  But the truth is, this is making me feel better.  All that stuff will be there when I am done but some of my feelings I have now been able to let go of.  See this stay at home, work from home, crafter, perfectionist mom; whom seems to be very outgoing; has actually become a little introverted.  Becoming a mom somehow made me think I needed to do it all and do it all more or less alone.  Now let me say I am by no means alone.  I have a wonderful husband, family, and friends but I have that uncanny knack for...well I'm not even sure how to describe it but if you are anything like me, you just know what I am talking about.

So now that I have gotten that out I suppose I shall (no one says shall much anymore - oh another tired mom personality - lack of focus - only half of the dishe...oh an M&M on the floor...oh crap don't put that on the dog - she doesn't like that!) go do something more important!  But hey if you see any of those moms today help them out or give them a hug!  They were probably your mom at one time or maybe you someday!  And oh, let's not forget the dads and other caregivers - they have those days and personalities too!


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(this will happen again right?)
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